“All happy families are alike, every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way” (L. Tolstoy, “Anna Karenina”).
In his school days, Lev Nikolayevich planted a grain of truth in us with this line, and all subsequent stamped family life rooted and nurtured a tree of notions of why we destroy unions.
If you stand in a crowded place and listen to what people talk about among themselves, you can hear either a couple figuring out who is right/who is wrong, or complaints and recriminations against the partner living next door. My ears are boiling with the variety of accusations and “brainwashing.”
It was as if there were more divorces than weddings. Maybe people have forgotten how to live together, or have the old stamps stopped working? The set of rules about the family being hard work, the wife having to and the husband having to, everything for the children, etc., had long held the foundation that bound two people together tightly. Now the old household has tilted to its foundations. They got together, they split up, easy and simple.
But we have not stopped talking about love, most often referring to the strong feeling between two people. We haven’t stopped wanting a soul mate around. Kinship, understanding, accepting you as you are, as you will be later, any and all loved. I think that’s pretty clear.
So, the partner must be able to understand everything, adjust and accept all the changes that occur in us. And what will the longsuffering and desire to love us (Nicholas the Second) be based on!
This is where the fun begins. It is up to us to become the person we want next to us. Change and embrace change.
Well, what’s new here?
Update. Relationships with each other require constant renewal. “I am not the same today as yesterday. A fresh wind has lifted my wings…”. Finding new things in your partner and at the same time giving you the opportunity to understand what has changed in you. After all, in fact, if we don’t look for renewal in a relationship, it will catch up with us anyway. A person develops, changes – and there are reproaches: you are not the one I married; you have become quite different – alien. This is the vector that must be reversed from the “minus” sign to the “plus” sign.
The update is not a bad thing, it’s great. You get a new relationship, feelings, passion, tenderness with the closest and dearest person. Life plays with other colors, and its level jumps up.
But there is one small condition. Renew the relationship together.
