|
Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...
|
The sound of watsap broke me from browsing the news feed. Reaching for the phone, I saw a message from Vera. She sent a picture of the young man, saying that she met him on the Internet. It happened to my best friend more than once. And all her acquaintances never got beyond Internet correspondence. But I was greatly surprised by the message that she received a bouquet of flowers. It made me very curious. I quickly found out that they had already met and liked each other. I was very happy for my friend, but at the same time I wondered deeply when Vera asked for advice on how to build a relationship, since they were both determined to get closer. I asked her for time to think about it.
When I told my husband this story, I heard in response: “So write to her how you and I are building our relationship. That will be your advice to your friend. With my husband’s support, I had the idea of writing the steps to building a happy relationship using my own family as an example.
***
Coming out of the staircase, once again I heard the scolding of my neighbors from downstairs. We happen to live in a house where you can hear everything. This scolding was quite frequent, despite the fact that Denis and Julia got together and got married not more than a year ago. I paid attention to this particular quarrel because as I walked past their apartment, I heard a distinct cry of despair: “You don’t love me!” This word “love” has become so hackneyed that I don’t know what it means anymore.
I don’t really understand what is meant when a young man or girl says: “I love you. And even more so, to create a family based on some hormonal outbursts, which are often called “love,” is extremely inconsiderate. I wondered how long Denis and Julia would be together. Their wedding cost their parents seven hundred thousand rubles. It was a big celebration. I wonder how often they bring it up? But they are still young, they don’t have children. What about our peers?
Just recently, my husband was shocked that his childhood friend Roman divorced his wife through the courts, leaving her with two children. My husband often told me about how Roman and Katya met, how their relationship developed and how happy they were. Fifteen years have passed, and that relationship is gone. So what is happening to us all?
Our inner development has led people to start a family and think they will be worthy of a happy life. But two or three years go by and it’s over, and that’s at best. Why is this the way things work? After all, it is an illusion to think that another person will help me, make me happy. I look for him for a long time, I find him, we make connections, build relationships, some time passes and then disappointment sets in.
I think there is only one reason this all happens: we don’t make up for our family relationships with an even more internal layer of connection to each other. But nature pushes us to build an inner system between us to make a soul connection. Then we will always be in the renewal of this inner, often invisible relationship, where the degree of unity is much deeper than the material habitual life.
Therefore, the whole crisis in family relationships that we are witnessing has to do only with the fact that we can no longer be satisfied with ordinary material life and must strive for inner unity.
It seems to me that we are in a kind of transition period, where the family will be called the internal replenishment of the spouses by each other. In such a relationship, the connection between husband and wife is so close that it becomes a kind of integral sensual field. This raises the relationship of the spouses to a completely different level, where it is impossible to live without each other, it is impossible to breathe. It is a very special likeness to one another, where each makes up for the other, where each is only part of the whole, i.e. half of the whole. Such a relationship of spouses is constantly renewed, deepened and becomes as if eternal. Only such a bond between a man and a woman can be considered a strong family.
I shared my reflections with my husband on an evening walk. We discussed everything and agreed that this was the model of our relationship with him. It allows us to be above all disturbances and disruptions at all times, and most importantly, to feel the life within our connection.
