“All happy families are alike, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way” (L. Tolstoy “Anna Karenina”).
In his school years , Lev Nikolayevich planted a grain of truth in this line, and all subsequent stamped family life rooted and nurtured a tree of concepts why we are destroying unions.
If you stand in a crowded place and listen to what people are talking about among themselves, you can either hear the couple finding out who is right / who is wrong, or complaints and reproaches against a partner living nearby. Ears boil from a variety of accusations and brainwashing.
There seem to be more divorces than weddings. Maybe people have forgotten how to live together, or old stamps have stopped working? The set of rules that the family is hard work, that the wife is obliged, and the husband must, that everything is for the sake of the children, etc., for a long time held the foundation that tightly wove two people together. Now the old domostroy has tilted to the ground. Agreed - fled, easily and simply.
But we did not stop talking about love, most often referring to a strong feeling between two people. We have not stopped wanting to have a kindred soul nearby. Kindred, understanding, accepting you as you are, as you will be later, anyone and loved. It seems that everything is clear with this.
This means that the partner must be able to understand everything, adapt and accept all the changes that occur in us. And what will longsuffering and the desire to love us (Nicholas II) be based on?!
Here begins the most interesting. We ourselves must become who we want to see next to us. Change and embrace change.
Well, what's new here?
Update. Relationships with each other require constant renewal. “Today I am not the same as yesterday. The fresh wind lifted my wings…”. To find something new in a partner and at the same time give an opportunity to understand what has changed in you. After all, in fact, if you do not look for renewal in relationships, they will still overtake us. A person develops, changes - and reproaches appear: you are not the one I married; you have become completely different - a stranger. This is the same vector that needs to be expanded from the minus sign to the plus sign.
The update is not bad, but excellent. You get new relationships, feelings, passion, tenderness with the closest and dearest person. Life plays with other colors, and its level jumps up.
But there is one small condition. Relationships need to be renewed together.
A wonderful article, recalls that the family is a single organism, therefore it is constantly developing and updating. Understanding, trust, sensitivity are important in this movement. .
Of course, it is, but without a third higher power between a husband and wife, it is almost impossible to do this ... Often, due to poor upbringing in a family from childhood, partners humiliate each other, abuse becomes more and more loud and intense, and ... then there is no respect . What is love without respect?
In love, it is impossible to say: “Enough! Only so far - and then I don’t like it. ” If you say that your love has a limit, then it is not love. These selfish calculations of who loves more and who loves less are already beginning to annoy ... Unless when you give to your children, you can say: “Enough, I won’t give you more!”. Of course, if you're not an idiot....