On the nth day of the war (and I have already stopped keeping a calendar), the final thought comes that this is your new life. No amenities, no regrets, no plans beyond the next hour. A survival strategy is being developed.
Psychologists write a lot about what the third stage is - when you need to stop hoping that a little more and a bright future will begin behind the hillock. They say don't expect it. Is it dangerous.
At this very point, an internal demand is born - to understand what is the root of all the problems taking place in the world. When your ordinary life will never be the same again, when the fear for her and your loved ones becomes dull, it became important for me to divide myself into two parts.
The first part is my body, with all its experiences, needs and thoughts. Here I came to the aid of small basic steps that helped support that very body, namely:
- clean clothes, preferably yours, in size, familiar and familiar (even if there are very few of them, as I have now)
- order around (clean up the place where you now live, throw out the garbage, wipe the floor)
- timely hygiene (washed face, clean nails and hair give a feeling of at least some familiar comfort)
- control of emotions (ask yourself the question - what depends on me and what does not, and do not take on what or whom you cannot help now)
- media awareness (for a month, like many of us, I did not part with the phone, absorbing the news indiscriminately, sobbing and feeling my stomach twist). No, read only the main ones - official reports, alarms, recommendations.
– a simple but stable schedule of the day (at least the main points are to wake up at the same time, wash, eat, do something around the house, chat with friends, etc.)
- make yourself a mandatory physical activity (physical activity clears the brain and gives the body strength). For me now it has become work on the ground.
Many, like me, are now unemployed, feeling their own uselessness, fearing for funds. This is where it became important for me to understand:
- what can I do to help those who need it (personally, I'm still in the process due to being cut off from "civilization")
- start keeping a clear budget and planning it (even if it is extremely limited)
- look at your technical capabilities (laptop, Internet access, etc.) and the skills that you can use now (even if this is not your main specialty). All together should make it clear how I can NOW earn a living.
The second part is deep questions. Why is this happening to us? What is the meaning of all the wars that have taken place and are taking place in our world? After all, we are not the only ones suffering all over the globe now, and this has always been the case. But for the first time it touched us so closely. So why? Are we really created to say from generation to generation “there have always been wars, and we will survive ..”?
Does that make sense? To fight, to hate, to look for places for discord, to try to suppress the power of another, to subjugate him? ...
Everyone is now looking for answers to these questions. They cannot be missed. This is a turning point that helps not to descend to the level of the victim, but to rise to a state where I, as a person, have the right to receive an answer - how can we all learn to get along with each other together.
How to make an internal revolution out of physical wars for power, when all our concern will be how to build our relationships in such a way that we learn to live with each other, despite all our differences.
How to rebuild our attitude towards other people so that we do not want to rule, but want to be those who will look for ways to unite. For all.
And start, perhaps, with the closest environment. Show care where you couldn't before. Switch from your states to the state of another. Help someone who needs it right now. Make sure your home is peaceful.
Share how you are surviving and coping with life now. Let's help each other to slightly change our reality to a brighter one. Together.
My family is far from the conflict, but we are approached by familiar refugees who need to be met, warmed, dressed, fed and put on the train, where they decided to go to the outback of Russia to the Tvenniks. And there is another problem - we are waiting for the day when it will be possible to pick up familiar with experienced legs, not a walker, who in the LPR was filled up with a destroyed house and the Russian military saved his life. So people have serious problems and they need help, if we can, we will have to cut our own budget and survive the rise in prices of everything and, being in touch with the people of Kiev and Odessa, somehow calm down. And my own heart is torn because of what is happening with relatives from Ukraine and strength you have to draw in prayer and friends.
There are two dates: very important for each of us - birth and death. And what is between them is unique and therefore priceless. And this is our life. People, let's learn to build relationships between us so that there is a peaceful sky above each of us, and love and mutual understanding reign in our common home.