I am quitting smoking. My feat is two months old. And while this transition to the (perhaps) light side is being carried out, I noticed one thing. Man is such a creature - he always feels bad. I felt bad when I smoked. Thoughts about harm to health, self-flagellation on the topic “pull yourself together, a rag”, pressure from loved ones. Then I quit (I got sick and realized that smoking was not far from the ventilator). And you know what? I still feel bad!
I still want to smoke . You can talk as much as you like about the importance of the goal, the theory of informed choice and blablabla. The truth is one for all - in any state, no matter what happens to us, the feeling of suffering is our faithful companion. Apparently, this mechanism is inherent in us by nature for a reason. And if we look at our lives, we will see that suffering / inconvenience / anxiety and other unpleasant sensations push us forward.
No, I'm not saying that adversity makes us stronger. These are long unpopular tales from the beginning of the twentieth century. Troubles make something much more interesting - they make us ask the question "why?" Why do I feel bad? Why are the people around - bastards and reptiles (especially those that I cannot influence, but they directly affect my life)?
Why can't everything be the way I want? Why, after all, can't I just live and enjoy life?!
Under the yoke of these questions, someone goes into religion, someone masters the theory of two arrows, someone abstracts, and someone decides to grit his teeth and bravely step against the wind to the grave. In the end, we are all looking for a way to stop suffering from the most painful questions in our lives - “why” and “why”.
You may not agree with me, but for this winter I have chosen only one word - exhaustion. The Japanese had such a method of torture - to tie a person and drip him 1 drop of water on the crown of the head with a certain frequency. It would seem that just a drop of water, and the weakest gave up after a couple of hours.
The number of forcing and unpleasant events that methodically and little by little drip on each of us cannot but deplete. And having received the next news, we think about how little, it turns out, we suffered yesterday ....
But is this what we were created for? Is it possible that such a wise, harmonious nature conceived us only so that at every moment of our life we feel suffering?
But… you guessed it.
Why do we experience suffering ? Who are these hands that make us miserable? Whatever one may say, these hands belong to a person. Your boss, your parents, friends, politicians, children, and that driver who cuts you off at the turn.
Fate has no other hands but ours. We are the ones who ruin each other's lives. But also those who can make her happy. As for a newborn, his whole future life is laid down from the attitude of the family towards him, so with us - our whole life is formed from the attitude of those around me.
If we felt at least a little this mutual dependence and wanted to make life easier for each other, our destinies would not be so tragic. And, perhaps, then I would not think about how unbearable it is for me personally to refrain from smoking, but that by my example I help to more easily endure the process of refusal for others.