Every normal person needs his own environment. Its environment is slightly different from the surrounding society, or rather, is only part of it. For example, if the surrounding society can be a country, a city, neighbors, passers-by, people in line, guests at a wedding, parents from a common kindergarten, passengers in transport, then their environment is the people I chose, and they, in their turn, I was also chosen. These can be friends, colleagues, relatives, acquaintances, subscribers, viewers, etc. With them, I feel more comfortable, understandable, more profitable, as well as more reliable, safer and calmer. They are closer, they are somewhat similar to me, we have something in common that unites us. So it was and so it will always be.
I propose in this article to reflect on why, when I want to change my job, change the relationship of my relatives, find new friends, a loved one, in a word, I decide to change my environment, I encounter problems. And the biggest of them - it would be necessary, but then, perhaps, it will be solved by itself.
So, let's take a look at why it's hard to change jobs? To do this, you need to understand why I want to change it. What specifically does not suit me? Often this is an unfair salary, underestimation of others around me as a good specialist, which leads to a lack of career growth. And I got used to it a long time ago, I feel the ceiling, I'm fed up with everything, I've lost interest. Found out - it's good.
Then let's reflect on what I expect from my future work. Of course, a high salary, respect and recognition of colleagues, career growth, gaining new experience, a change of scenery. If I find such a job, then it is desirable for me to start everything from scratch, not to repeat any habits, to become different, to intrigue and interest all colleagues. Great, let's move on.
Now, it would be nice to know how I can become such a person. After all, the fear of inconsistency with the new team, their requests, the fear of the unknown, rather than my expectations, keeps me from change more. Where fear comes from and what to do, we will find out a little later.
Changes in personal life
Now let's look at why it is difficult to find a loved one to build a new romantic relationship. Again we ask ourselves: why do I need a romantic relationship? What does not suit me in the current relationship or when I am generally alone? Of course, there can be many options, all individually. But there is one common reason - the need to be loved, needed, to feel cared for, also to love yourself and take care of someone.
Okay, now let's find out what I expect from a future lover. What should he/she be like? Why exactly like this? Why is this so important to me? What can I give in return for agreeing to be in a relationship? Am I ready to give? Here, too, all answers are individual. But there is one thing in common - he must understand me, love me, agree with me and must give me time, attention, preferably, prioritize the rest of the people in his environment, we must have common interests. And, quite naturally, under these conditions, I will also be able to fully belong to such a person, reciprocate, and even be able to give more.
We’ve sorted it out, now we raise the question again, how can I become such a person so that the one I’m looking for notices me?
Friends with whom you don't need enemies
Let's move on to changing the circle of friends. This can be much harder and harder to do. Sometimes a person all his life remains in the same environment of friends, knowing them as flaky, angry and annoyed, but still forgiving them everything and holding on to them. However, there are times when a person feels that friends often fail, cunning, harm, pressure and insist on what they don’t want to do at all, don’t hear, don’t believe, don’t appreciate, etc.
Suddenly there is such despair that you make a firm decision - enough is enough! It's time to move away, keep them at a distance, weaken the connection, and that's it, that's enough. And then comes a period of great emptiness…. After all, friends (or the same loved one) are not furniture or even work to urgently look for and find. This is already a manifestation of caution, this is remembering pain and resentment, this is fear and disappointment, these are experiences and suffering.
New friends are found either over the years, or by a lucky chance. After all, friends are like-minded people - a special environment, which, quite naturally, is necessary for a person. Even without explanation. But the same questions can be asked here as well. And in the end, the main question: how can I become such a person in order to have reliable and congenial friends?
Native people are the most difficult category of the human environment. A person, of course, does not choose them, since they surround him from his very birth. But subsequently, he still makes his choice - to be with them in a close and trusting relationship or not. Keep a strong connection with them and love, or keep a visible peaceful connection, or maybe not communicate at all.
All this depends not only on relatives, on the traditions and rules of the family, but also personally on the person himself. From what is genetically inherent in him, from the conditions in which he grew up and was brought up, from the surrounding society, which brought him up together with his relatives. And from what a person fills himself daily, except for live communication. Unlike the examples described above, a person does not want to change his relatives for others. On the contrary, he wants to be with them in good, warm relations, he wants his relatives to be proud of him, to recognize his presence in the family as important.
And here, when analyzing, one can ask the same questions: what does not suit me? Why? And what needs to be changed to change the relationship?
“The wise is not the one who knows a lot, but the one who knows the right things” (Aeschylus)
Solutions can always be found in real sages. To our today's topic of the article, I saw a solution in the words of one wise man, our contemporary Michael Laitman : “Do not demand from the world that it change if you do not change yourself. If you change, the world will change." I find this statement special because it contains the key to solving any problems of a person: in all questions and claims to the world around it is very important to ask questions and claims to yourself in order to become useful to your environment.
In other words, if they gave me relatives for life, I have known friends for a long time, I am a confident specialist in my work, and a loved one once attracted me and fell in love, then the whole reason lies in me. And how to be?
Of course, to find solutions, through questions, through analysis. The first and main question: would I love, respect, care, listen and praise a person like myself? What am I reading to give someone interesting and useful information? What do I watch and browse in order to be always up to date, keep up the conversation and be not indifferent? What am I studying to give sound and correct advice to someone whose opinion I value, or to give an idea on which my career growth will depend? What thoughts occupy me so that in my environment, at any time, without any hesitation, it is interesting and free to reason? What topics interest me in order to find common ground with the beautiful half? What do I like to do to keep my loved ones busy? Do I like my appearance, my tone of voice, my habits? Would I associate my life with a person like me?
If the problems are clarified, then there is a solution - to start working on yourself, changing your environment. Then fate will certainly turn to us with its radiant face. After all, the fear of changing something appears where we are too lazy to figure it out. Nature, which has rewarded each of us with everything necessary for life and relationships, with all people and circumstances, will certainly be on our side. Because nature has laws, where the main thing is to do everything with yourself, with your life, use all your natural data, but with the thought of others, for the sake of others.
Then our whole life will change in the most unimaginable and wonderful way. By caring for others, we ourselves become more confident, better and more beautiful - that is, creative and enterprising, attractive and authoritative. By investing in our environment , we ourselves are filled with a sense of happiness from life!
The article is good, you really want to have a good environment, but what to do with painful relatives? Or maybe they are my reflection? Maybe you need to change yourself and they will change?
It is very important that you yourself be interesting to others, when creating a picture on a clean canvas, different colors are mixed and to make the picture brighter, white is added to the paint, if they paint with oils or water, they dilute the watercolor ... The more you yourself are lighter, brighter, positive, then people will reach out to you , and if there is a goal, then like-minded people will come themselves, they will be sent or you will be directed to them.
You really change yourself, the environment changes. In each period of life, not always in an understandable way, new friends and work and books and teachers appear! Here the desire of the person himself to develop himself as a person is important!
The question would I become friends with myself, made me think🤔😉😎
And there were places to work on yourself. Thank you 🌟🌟🌟👍👍👍
A very sensible approach: if you want to change the world, start with yourself. Look at yourself through the eyes of an outside observer. And change yourself, but in such a way that it benefits not only you, but also those close to you.
It's easy to say change. And if all my life I passively watched how life carries me, I don’t know where. Everything came by itself, but I didn’t ask for much. I yearned, not seeing the Goal ahead. And so almost all my life. Thank you, fate brought together people who have a Purpose. I don’t see if I’m changing myself or not, but I made friends, and relations with my family improved. It turns out, change the environment and your world will change.
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