I have always been distinguished from my peers by my special interests. So it was at school, at the university and further in life. In the 1990s, when everyone watched the video, I read Sholokhov in the reading room of the village library. At the university, when everyone went to cafes and nightclubs, I wrote articles for a youth newspaper and did community work. And then I met people with similar views, and together we began to implement various public projects.
I often wondered why people have such different interests and values in life? How are they formed? When do they form? By whom? Here and there, I began to come across articles, books about the influence of the environment on a person, about the fact that a person, his interests, his values are completely shaped by the society in which he is located, or rather, public opinion, to which he is tied. The people with whom a person communicates, the books he reads, the programs he watches - all this forms certain views and behaviors in him. So I found answers to my questions and further I was only convinced of the correctness of this approach.
Why am I writing about this? Because in building harmonious family relationships, public opinion has a key influence. For example, public opinion may dictate to me that I should not be selfish in the family. If there are difficulties, I must cancel my pride and adjust to my spouse. Or maybe vice versa, when public opinion tells me: “If your husband doesn’t suit you, get a divorce!” In this case, by public opinion, I mean relatives, friends, colleagues at work, i.e. environment with which I am constantly in contact.
The opinion of society is able to give me the necessary strength to rise above my egoistic nature and each time at the moments of separation from my spouse, neglect my pride and go for rapprochement. For example, the power of society in some weight loss club allows me to stick to certain diets. As soon as this influence disappears, i.e. I stop going to this circle, I immediately return to the usual unhealthy diet.
My husband once told a story about how he quit smoking. He read a book by Allen Carr, which had a huge impact on him, and did not smoke for two years. Then he got into society and made friends with people where almost everyone smoked, and gradually returned to his cigarettes. When we got married, he quit smoking again because I can't stand cigarette smoke. That is, under my influence, he had the strength to rise above his bad habit.
If you ask what this has to do with family, the answer is obvious. I don't have the strength to fight my nature alone. In a word, with their purely personal interests, unwillingness to get closer at times of separation. This is unnatural. But the environment, influencing me by conveying the value of giving up selfishness for the sake of a spouse, appreciates such behavior, elevates it. So I become special in the eyes of this environment, they begin to respect and honor me. Man is so arranged. Public opinion is much stronger than the individual.
Thus, I can change, being influenced by the environment. Let's say that my husband and I entered a certain society under the conditional name "Keepers of the family hearth." We are starting to get support from him. We are slowly mending our relationship because we have been brainwashed. In the end, influencing each other in this small environment, we begin to behave differently. Thanks to this leverage, we always have the strength to get closer in moments of cold in a relationship.
In the following essays, I will describe in detail how to learn this technique of relationship with a spouse. I am sure that in every family there are periods of crisis, from which it is very difficult to get out, and the imprint in the heart remains for a long time. But having mastered the technique of rapprochement with a spouse under the influence of the environment, you can quickly get out of such situations, feeling renewed and opening a completely new page in the book of family happiness.
I agree with the author of the article. We are all a product of our environment. We are formed in turn by our parents, and the kindergarten, and the school, and the yard. And then the media, advertising, the Internet, friends, etc. But here's the question. Where to find such an environment, so as not to become a victim of its influence, but a good, right person?
Galina, who seeks, he finds)!
G. Yakupov, I look forward to your next publication on the stated topic!